Over the past three decades, Worthy Grace has lost more trans and queer friends to suicide than he can count on his fingers and toes, including two in the last month. 

"I fear every day that that number is about to grow in ways I am not prepared for," he said. 

Grace was speaking at a candlelight vigil in Vernon's Spirit Square on Transgender Day of Remembrance Wednesday evening, Nov. 20. The local nurse has been out as a transgender man for 28 years, and intoned a speech that gave the roughly 70 vigil attendees a glimpse into his struggles to find acceptance and safety in a world "that was not ready for me to be my authentic self."

Grace said he takes note of any progress made with regards to attitudes towards trans people, but lately has been watching that progress "crumble."

He said now more than ever, trans people need the help of others to combat anti-trans rhetoric. 

"I know from experience that when a cis (non-trans) person chimes in, in defence of trans people, it is heard differently than when I chime in every single time," Grace said. 

He added that as well as individuals, businesses and institutions need to make an effort to welcome and support trans people. 

"Trans people are notoriously let down by systems that were not created with them in mind," Grace said. 

At least 350 transgender people in the world have been murdered over the past year, according to the . Abbie Wilson, president of the Vernon Pride Society which organized the vigil, said that death toll rises to over 430 when accounting for suicide.

The report does not show data for trans lives lost in Canada, and Wilson said it is "extremely difficult if not next to impossible" to find the names of trans and two-spirit people who have died in this country. 

"We want to say the names of the people not listed. Since we can't, we affirm that their personhood, their names, their selves will be remembered, the way that energy is never created or destroyed but always remains," Wilson said before initiating a moment of silence.

Becky Petrishen, a transgender woman and trans peer support worker for the Canadian Mental Health Association, encouraged trans people to advocate for themselves, while pointing out that resources are available and they don't have to go it alone. 

"If it ever becomes overwhelming, phone ot text the 24/7 crisis line at 988, or trans lifeline at 877-330-6366," she said. 

Aaron Mitchell, a two-spirit syilx member of the Okanagan Indian Band, performed smudging at the event. 

Following the vigil, members of the crowd walked over to Ritual Barbershop for warm drinks, snacks and poetry read by trans poets.